CERTIFIED LAURA DOYLE RELATIONSHIP COACH

Hello and welcome! I'm Coach Angela and I'm incredibly honoured to share this space with you.

You’ll read all about my personal experience with The Six Intimacy Skills in my story below, and while that is a major motivator behind my work, I have been on a conscious personal growth journey for more than 25 years.  
I am a person who is interested in living her best life and guiding others to do the same.
Alongside completing a Bachelor of Education, I have trained through the following organisations…

Laura Doyle Relationship Coach Programme

COACH THE COACH COURSE

"I Have always maintained that I have an extraordinary marriage. However, after 15+ years of marriage I had actually become very unhappy with the way things were and so had my husband. Now I am excited and my husband and I are working together peacefully! The road to the future is looking so much smoother!"

Sandra – Northland, New Zealand

There is a reason I am such a firm believer in my work - I have used the very skills I now teach to change my own life. If I managed to turn my broken and loveless marriage around, then so can you.

Here's My Story...

I married in a lavish wedding in 2005, I was 33. I married my husband because he was my rock, someone trustworthy, generous, and totally devoted to me...

Things were picture perfect.

He was so romantic and would whisk me away for weekends in Sydney and take me for dinner at any opportunity. About 6 months into our marriage, I became pregnant, we were so excited to have a baby!! All my dreams were coming true!!

6 months after my first child was born our family became blended.  I was so excited and thought we could all be happy.  In reality, it was difficult.

And then life happened.

Being a new mum with a baby I quickly began to spend my entire life looking after family, leaving little time for myself. My stepchildren were becoming teenagers, and with teenagers came challenges. Although they were incredibly helpful with my children and were great kids, I had no idea how to be a parent to them.

I felt alone, scared and a total failure.  

18 months later our second child was born. During my second baby’s first few years I started to feel increasingly desperate. Even though I loved parenting, I became exhausted, depleted, angry and depressed.  To survive I became like a robot, going through the motions.

‘I felt like a ‘shell’ of my former self. I didn’t know that the one thing that could help was to take time for myself. I felt alone, scared and a total failure.  

Gradually, I turned into his mother.

My husband and I constantly argued about how to look after the children. 

I constantly told him how he should parent, after all, I was a teacher, I had read all the textbooks so wasn’t I superior to him in this area? I criticized his every move, thinking that I was being ‘helpful’.  

But I knew something wasn't right!

In my plight to improve our marriage, I read magazines and books that told me that you should work things out through communication and to be honest about things.  I tried this, but it only seemed to make things worse.  I would bring up some of my concerns with my husband and we would end up bickering and arguing, going around in circles.

I tried to "communicate"...

As the children got older I went on self-development courses to try to fix our marital problems.  Maybe I could learn to do more, communicate better, be more considerate?  I couldn’t understand what I was doing wrong.  I was trying so hard!  I blamed my husband. I constantly told him how he should be, act and parent.  Why couldn’t he just do the things that I told him to do so that we could have a happy marriage and family?

We tried to spend time together and go out on dates. On the odd occasion when we did go out on a date to a restaurant, I moaned to my husband about everything that was wrong in our lives and I also told him what he should and shouldn’t do to make our marriage better. Unsurprisingly my husband didn’t really want to take me out on dates much…

One Day I found a book...

Following one chapter of The Surrendered Wife by Laura Doyle,  I experimented with one of the “skills” in the book. Wow, it worked and had an immediate positive effect on our relationship.  I wanted to continue with the skills outlined in the book, but felt I needed some support but didn’t know of anybody else who could help me.  

Through my haze of sleepless nights and overwhelm whilst parenting young children I forgot about the book and went back to my old ways.   

I succeeded in joining a group of women committed to having great marriages.  Wow, finally I could talk to some women who might ‘get me’ and understand what I was going through! 

I was immediately assigned a coach who really understood me and patiently worked through the skills with me.  One of the skills that my coach requested I experiment with was self care. 

Self-care!  What?  It sounded like a waste of time to me, I had so much to do!!    

Another 10 years went by before I got serious...
I re-read the book and got serious about practicing the skills in it! Unbeknownst to my husband or anyone else, I took on a ‘relinquishing control skill’ experiment. For one whole week, I did not criticize, make helpful suggestions or tell him how to do things. Wow, that felt so hard!  There were definitely things that I felt I should correct him on, but I promised myself I would give it ONE week!  By the end of the week, my husband looked like a different man – he was smiling, looking relaxed and so free.  He started to talk more and we had fun and laughter. At a sports event at the end of the week, a parent commented to my husband and asked him what had happened to him as he looked so relaxed! Wow, I had no idea what my ‘helpful suggestions’ were doing to my husband. At this moment, I knew that Laura Doyle’s skills could change my marriage. 
I signed up for Laura Doyle Coaching.
It wasn't easy, or appealing.

I was working full time, doing a course and managing the family household.  I lived a frantic lifestyle, where I was depleted, exhausted and miserable.  

 I wrote a self care list of the things that I would love to do.  Writing the list was difficult, I had become numb to the things that I love to do because in my busy life, they just seemed frivolous.

However, I decided to follow the skills and began to schedule and do those things on my self-care list. 

Some of the items on my self care list are time to myself, nature walks and hanging out with my girlfriends on the phone or in-person.   At first self-care was so difficult for me. For the first 6 months, I could not shake the guilt of doing things that I loved to do.  How frivolous?  Shouldn’t I be working hard?  Wasn’t I lazy? 

But something finally clicked.

  Now-a-days, after persevering, self-care has become like second nature for me. I don’t experience guilt anymore, only gratitude and happiness for this lovely life I have been given.  

I started to say no to things that depleted me. I took on teaching part-time.  Again, I felt guilt, laziness, fear?  Would anybody notice or appreciate me if I didn’t work hard at a full-time ‘paid job’?  Would people judge me for being lazy? Gradually I let go of what others thought of me and focused on my own happiness and well-being.

And it really is a happy ever after...

These days, after taking on the skills, coaching and training of Laura Doyle’s 6 intimacy skills, I find myself filled with gratitude for my wonderful life. I have great friends, free time, I exercise, I play sport and love spending time with my husband and children. I have trained and become a Laura Doyle coach, which is so fulfilling. I enjoy the most wonderful relationship with my husband. We often take a day off together and go for a romantic walk or have lunch together.

Our household is more relaxed, fun and happy.  I no longer feel like I have to try and fix myself, do more or work hard at my marriage.  I feel happy, cared for and grateful to my husband who is so generous to me.

The man I once fell in love with has returned, and I am thankful that I married him all those years ago.

"I love this work. I am so loving discovering who I am as a woman that is distinct and different from my man. I am feeling so loved and nurtured by him since practicing the skills Angela is teaching me. I am very grateful."

Linda – Christchurch

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